Week 1 - Time to Pack

The Trip

There's something about new beginnings...

I've always had a problem with managing my expectations about new experiences in my life.  For me, the problem with setting unrealistic expectations has always been that I always made the wrong assumptions about what's going to happen.  I mean, I basically get the gist of how I should behave, what is expected of me and what the outcome should involve.  But what I always used to get wrong (and I have no idea why), were my pre-conceived notions about the people I would encounter.

So if you recall from the last post, I finally met the "elusive" Linda Street from Dress for Success Hudson County.  She's great! Check!  She recruits me as a volunteer to document the workshops she organized for the Going Places Network by Walmart. Check!  She sends me some literature on the program and links me to their website.  Check!  I read up on everything.  I jot down ideas about the blog. Check and Check! And then, (here's where it used to go wrong)...I would start daydreaming about people I hadn't even met yet.  Usually this would end with me being totally surprised (or disappointed depending on the circumstances) and caught off guard.  I've recently changed this about myself and I was fortunate enough to meet the Dress for Success clients with this new found attitude...and I'm so glad I did!

Linda gave a very comprehensive presentation which outlined:

• An Introduction to the Program
• Standards of Accountability - "rules of the road" and what to expect from the workshops
• Goal Setting - brainstorming about what the clients want to get out of the program
• Lead Topics - Change Management and Organizing Your Job Search

I sat there scribbling notes, making sure to catch as many important points as I could.  I tried to stay completely neutral until Linda posed an innocent enough question to the group:

"What strengths do you fall back on when you are struggling?"

The answer from one woman was equally innocent (to paraphrase):

"I know I have to take care of my children so I keep going; knowing that I have to care for them not matter what."

Something about her answer created excitable feedback from the other clients which in turn transformed into a very emotional discussion surrounding the issue of personal strength, self-valuation, and the fighting power in all of us. 

Tears were shed, consoling ensued, and I felt like we all had that sisterhood bondy-thingy moment that always tends to happens when you stick a bunch of women in a room long enough…very enlightening indeed…sigh.

Your Guide

·    Manage Your Expectations – develop realistic ones and measure what is working and what isn’t

·    Stay Motivated – Take care of yourself emotionally, physically and financially

·    Overcoming Obstacles - Having a positive attitude from the start will help increase the chances of an employment opportunity.  Once there is positive self-talk then the next step is planning for occupational goals.

·    Create a Support Network - Continue participation in Going Places Network by Walmart and schedule appointments with one friend a week for two months

·    Focus on Your Personal Strengths – Taking a cue from the discussion mentioned above “What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.” and from George Elliott, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

Words from Fellow Travelers

Quotes from clients when asked about their personal strengths:

“I love my strong personality”

“My mother is my role model”

“I’m proud of the fact that I’m a good mother”

“God is my strength”